THE P-J-O'ROURKE-IS-FROM-TOLEDO-OHIO CONTEST RESULTS:

Total points awarded: 120

Total completely wrong guesses: 4

Disqualified answers received after my arbitrary deadline: 3

6.25% knew the answer solely from watching M*A*S*H* episodes.

6.25% did not know the answer, but used the internet to find out.

6.25% claimed to be "doing missionary work" in Michigan.

6.25% mentioned being my wife, answered correctly, but called him "J. O'Rourke."

6.25% say they know the answer because they have recently studied "The Fundamentals of Contemporary Courtesy" in class. (Surprisingly, this somehow helps.)

12.5% encouraged me to "keep doing the Lord's work."

6.25% told me the economic history of Findlay, OH, a city quite close to Toledo.

6.25% answered vaguely with "state, western," not wanting to let on too much.

6.25% guessed San Antonio.

6.25% offered Alaska as a possibility.

6.25% inexplicably wrote "pumpernickel jam?" as a guess.

12.5% wrote "The home of SPAM," assumedly relating to the other question of the month, unless it's a really bizarre coincidence, which is different than irony—take note, Miss Morissette.

Thanks for playing. No prizes awarded, just points to those who guessed correctly. Keep saving those points; some day you'll thank me.

grb